The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades
I'm sitting here with the most overwhelming joy, the most joy that I have had in several, several years. For years now I have been going through the motions of walking with the Lord…. I say that I have faith but am I only saying it because I feel as if I say it I have it? But yet within my own heart there is so much doubt but saying I have faith gives me faith… does that really work? I also say that I trust in Him but was I only saying that I did because I felt like that was what needed to be said? I pray but am I really meaning what I say? I seem to be only asking Him for things He can do for me instead of me asking Him what can I do for Him?
I came to the realization of this in Bible study tonight. It’s sad how other Christians can really get you down especially the ones closest to you. My mom ridicules me on a daily basis of what an unforgiving winch I am for not speaking to my dad or having him in my life anymore. I have tried to tell her that I have removed him from my life for my own good. I have used the analogy that you don’t go and pray to the Lord day and night saying, “Lord, please don’t let me get punched, I don’t want to get punched anymore, please help me!” But your job is as a boxer and you go into the ring every night… what a dumb-ass you are! The Lord isn’t gonna help you not get punched if you don’t take the initiative to remove yourself from the situation. You deserve to get your ass wooped! Same thing with my father, I want to be treated like a human being and I don’t want any fighting and in order for that to happen I have to remove him from my life for that peace in my life.
The analogy was confirmed tonight in Bible study, we did a study in Luke Chapter 22 and verses 35-36 state "And he said unto them, when I sent you without purse, and scrip, and shoes, lacked ye any thing? And they said, nothing. Then said he unto them, but now, he that hath a purse, let him take it, and likewise his scrip: and he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one."
The Lord wants us to defend ourselves and use self defense when it is necessary, yes, He tells us to turn the other cheek, however, I believe that is more when it comes to backstabbing and hurtful words and accusations. There is that saying that the one who barks the loudest has the most guilt. So with this study the Lord confirmed in my heart that I was doing the right thing, that I was using self defense by removing my father from my life. I needed all this reassurance in my life tonight but it was more than that… even before the study a fire started to swell up within me and I started to cry a little. For the first time in very long time when I was singing the words to the hymns they really started to mean something to me, they weren't just empty words I was reciting. I missed and longed that fire that I once had burning inside of me and was so happy to feel it piercing and penetrating through me once again. I seriously left the Bible study and felt so much joy within, it is just bubbling over. For the first time in a long time, I know without a shadow of a doubt that the Lord has His good and perfect plan for my life. I had this ultimate fear that was taking over that I cannot have children and the fear has been overwhelming and has been consuming me but tonight He put the faith, real faith, within my soul that He has His good and perfect will for my life. He is preparing my soul for the challenge ahead. I finally give it all to Him.
The Lord has in the past given me promises, which he gives to everyone, heck, I even have the Bible verse to one of His promises, Isaiah 40:31 tattooed on my arm to remind me, "They that wait upon the Lord, He shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings of an eagle, they shall run and not grow weary, they shall run and not faint."
How quickly we human beings forget all that God has done for us and taken us out of. I got that tattoo when I finally just gave it all to the Lord and stopped looking for a man and decided to wait upon Him, little did I know that my best buddy at work at the time would be my husband and I already knew him when I got the tat. I used to read the book of Exodus about the children of Israel being freed from Egypt and read the stories about them bitching and moaning about unpleasant situations and worshiping false idols when they had the Lord right smack there appearing as a cloud by day and a fire by night that they followed through the wilderness! I used to laugh and want to smack them around at how they could sway so easily. But here I did the same things with not having this faith the Lord wanted me to have in my life and forgetting what He has given to me already and what He has promised to me.
I know He loves me and wants the best for me in my life, there is no way He is punishing me for past transgressions, those have been forgiven and removed from my life, He loves me and wants my life to be fulfilled with joy. Ezekiel 16:8-13, “Now when I passed by thee, and looked upon thee, behold, thy time was the time of love; and I spread my wing over thee, and covered thy nakedness: yea, I sware unto thee, and entered into a covenant with thee, saith the Lord GOD, and thou becamest mine. Then washed I thee with water; yea, I throughly washed away thy blood from thee, and I anointed thee with oil. I clothed thee also with broidered work, and shod thee with badgers' skin, and I girded thee about with fine linen, and I covered thee with silk. I decked thee also with ornaments, and I put bracelets upon thy hands, and a chain on thy neck. And I put a jewel on thy forehead, and earrings in thine ears, and a beautiful crown upon thine head. Thus wast thou decked with gold and silver; and thy raiment was of fine linen, and silk, and broidered work; thou didst eat fine flour, and honey, and oil: and thou wast exceeding beautiful, and thou didst prosper into a kingdom.”
The Lord loves us and He wants what’s best for us in our lives, all we need to do is truly trust in Him for all things. We need to start asking Him what can we do for Him and I know the blessings will start wheeling in. I finally get it again! I finally have the joy that has been gone for a long time, I was missing that and wondering how to get it back and I am so happy it is back.
Jeremiah 29:11-13, "For I know the thoughts I think towards you, says the Lord, they are thoughts of peace, and not of evil to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me, and you shall go and pray unto me, and I will hear you. And you shall seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all of your heart."
I look at the future and, the futures so bright, I gotta wear shades! - Timbuk 3
I came to the realization of this in Bible study tonight. It’s sad how other Christians can really get you down especially the ones closest to you. My mom ridicules me on a daily basis of what an unforgiving winch I am for not speaking to my dad or having him in my life anymore. I have tried to tell her that I have removed him from my life for my own good. I have used the analogy that you don’t go and pray to the Lord day and night saying, “Lord, please don’t let me get punched, I don’t want to get punched anymore, please help me!” But your job is as a boxer and you go into the ring every night… what a dumb-ass you are! The Lord isn’t gonna help you not get punched if you don’t take the initiative to remove yourself from the situation. You deserve to get your ass wooped! Same thing with my father, I want to be treated like a human being and I don’t want any fighting and in order for that to happen I have to remove him from my life for that peace in my life.
The analogy was confirmed tonight in Bible study, we did a study in Luke Chapter 22 and verses 35-36 state "And he said unto them, when I sent you without purse, and scrip, and shoes, lacked ye any thing? And they said, nothing. Then said he unto them, but now, he that hath a purse, let him take it, and likewise his scrip: and he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one."
The Lord wants us to defend ourselves and use self defense when it is necessary, yes, He tells us to turn the other cheek, however, I believe that is more when it comes to backstabbing and hurtful words and accusations. There is that saying that the one who barks the loudest has the most guilt. So with this study the Lord confirmed in my heart that I was doing the right thing, that I was using self defense by removing my father from my life. I needed all this reassurance in my life tonight but it was more than that… even before the study a fire started to swell up within me and I started to cry a little. For the first time in very long time when I was singing the words to the hymns they really started to mean something to me, they weren't just empty words I was reciting. I missed and longed that fire that I once had burning inside of me and was so happy to feel it piercing and penetrating through me once again. I seriously left the Bible study and felt so much joy within, it is just bubbling over. For the first time in a long time, I know without a shadow of a doubt that the Lord has His good and perfect plan for my life. I had this ultimate fear that was taking over that I cannot have children and the fear has been overwhelming and has been consuming me but tonight He put the faith, real faith, within my soul that He has His good and perfect will for my life. He is preparing my soul for the challenge ahead. I finally give it all to Him.
The Lord has in the past given me promises, which he gives to everyone, heck, I even have the Bible verse to one of His promises, Isaiah 40:31 tattooed on my arm to remind me, "They that wait upon the Lord, He shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings of an eagle, they shall run and not grow weary, they shall run and not faint."
How quickly we human beings forget all that God has done for us and taken us out of. I got that tattoo when I finally just gave it all to the Lord and stopped looking for a man and decided to wait upon Him, little did I know that my best buddy at work at the time would be my husband and I already knew him when I got the tat. I used to read the book of Exodus about the children of Israel being freed from Egypt and read the stories about them bitching and moaning about unpleasant situations and worshiping false idols when they had the Lord right smack there appearing as a cloud by day and a fire by night that they followed through the wilderness! I used to laugh and want to smack them around at how they could sway so easily. But here I did the same things with not having this faith the Lord wanted me to have in my life and forgetting what He has given to me already and what He has promised to me.
I know He loves me and wants the best for me in my life, there is no way He is punishing me for past transgressions, those have been forgiven and removed from my life, He loves me and wants my life to be fulfilled with joy. Ezekiel 16:8-13, “Now when I passed by thee, and looked upon thee, behold, thy time was the time of love; and I spread my wing over thee, and covered thy nakedness: yea, I sware unto thee, and entered into a covenant with thee, saith the Lord GOD, and thou becamest mine. Then washed I thee with water; yea, I throughly washed away thy blood from thee, and I anointed thee with oil. I clothed thee also with broidered work, and shod thee with badgers' skin, and I girded thee about with fine linen, and I covered thee with silk. I decked thee also with ornaments, and I put bracelets upon thy hands, and a chain on thy neck. And I put a jewel on thy forehead, and earrings in thine ears, and a beautiful crown upon thine head. Thus wast thou decked with gold and silver; and thy raiment was of fine linen, and silk, and broidered work; thou didst eat fine flour, and honey, and oil: and thou wast exceeding beautiful, and thou didst prosper into a kingdom.”
The Lord loves us and He wants what’s best for us in our lives, all we need to do is truly trust in Him for all things. We need to start asking Him what can we do for Him and I know the blessings will start wheeling in. I finally get it again! I finally have the joy that has been gone for a long time, I was missing that and wondering how to get it back and I am so happy it is back.
Jeremiah 29:11-13, "For I know the thoughts I think towards you, says the Lord, they are thoughts of peace, and not of evil to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me, and you shall go and pray unto me, and I will hear you. And you shall seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all of your heart."
I look at the future and, the futures so bright, I gotta wear shades! - Timbuk 3